Happy Leap Year Day!!!
Happy Leap Year Day!!! Whatever that means. Let me get this straight… Leap years are necessary to keep our calendars in alignment with the earth’s revolutions? Sounds complicated to me. I had no idea that there was science involved. It is science, isn’t it? Thank you Mr. Google!
Leap years occur pretty much every four years, the same as the Presidential campaign season. We pick up an extra day of ‘politicking’ and ‘bickering’ free of charge. Does it really have to be in February? Can we use it like a floating holiday or a personal day? Also, if it is an extra day, why don’t we get the day off?
I look at the Leap Year day a little differently. I see it as a bonus. We can use this extra day to right a wrong. Think of it as a 24-hour Mulligan, a do-over if you will.
No more ‘woulda, shoulda, coulda’. Wipe the slate clean on Mulligan Day!
How many times have you heard people say ”I have no regrets, I wouldn’t change a thing...” Really? You wouldn’t change a thing? No regrets? None? Sounds cliche to me. I am calling hogwash on that. Mulligan Day can set you free.
We all have regrets. Man, my life’s highway is littered with regrets. I don’t wallow in them, but I do recognize and try to avoid the same traps that I’ve fallen victim to in years’ past. Some are small and others require an emergency visit with the Bishop.
Here are a few of my regrets.
Why did I quit my cushy job at Radio Shack in Provo? It was right next door to a KFC that made the best mashed potatoes in the state.
Why, oh why, did I let my mom get her hands on my enormous baseball card collection and give them to a neighbor kid while I was in Ecuador? This kid makes off with my Steve Carlton and Hank Aaron rookie cards and I am left with two Larry Sherrys, a Miguel Dilone lighter (remember him?), and a Memphis Tams team pennant. Ughhh......
How about the time I bought the wrong running shorts for a mid-summer 5k? The kind without the lining, ’nuff said.
Why didn’t I hang on to that Microsoft stock? Sure it was only 60 shares but still.
Why didn’t I go ahead and splurge on a sweet $300 mail-order hairpiece like the one Chuck Norris wears? His looks so real.
Why did I vote for Bo Bice instead of Carrie Underwood on American Idol? That dude can rock.
Are there more? Of course there are. However, I will spare my posterity the shame.
I am not alone. I know others have their regrets. I know others wish they could go back and make an adjustment or two.
Do you think Chris Webber regrets calling that time-out when there were none left against Carolina in the NCAA Championship game in ‘93?
Do you think Senator Larry Craig regrets going ‘tappy-toe’ in the restroom in Minneapolis?
Do you think Michigan regrets scheduling Appalachian State?
Do you think Roger Clemens wishes he had kept his mouth shut? His wife is juicing yet he’s not? Right.
Do you think Ron Artest regrets anything? Bad example, I am sure he doesn’t get it.
Do you think Bobby Knight regrets bullying players, media, and who knows who else?
And finally, do you think BYU’s Dean of Standards regrets calling me on the carpet for my ‘Hasselhoff Afro’ in ‘78? Probably not.
As the great lyricist Paul Anka wrote for Frank Sinatra “Regrets? I’ve had a few...”
Happy Leap Year Day! Errr...Mulligan Day!
Keith Stubbs
Radio Guy, Comedian, Victim of Circumstance, Cowboy Poet........
http://www.keithstubbs.com
American Idol Stuff...The Girlies
Before it’s too late.
These are my predictions of who will be booted off American Idol tonight Feb 21st.......
They were both great but say ‘good-bye’ ..to....Joanne Borgella the plus size model from Hoboken, NJ and Amy Davis.
I think I may be on to something...However, I could be wrong.
We shall see.
Good Day!
Keith
http://www.keithstubbs.com
Idol Stuff...The Guys
Well, it is here. American Idol. The 12 guys did their thing last night. Utah’s David Archuleta is the one to beat, it seems. Good for him! He is smooth, poised and the ‘girlies’ and the moms love him.
I think it is a ‘3 horse race’ as far as the fellas. The Australian guy Micheal Johns, David Archuleta from Murray and the kid w/ dreadlocks and very good teeth, Jason Castro. We shall see how it goes.......
My pick as far as the guys to be booted on the Thursday Feb 21st show.....Garrett Haley (he looks like the lead singer of Rush) and Chikezie Eze (yes, I looked up the correct spelling of his name...)
So, there are my picks.
Stay tuned.........
Keith Stubbs
http://www.keithstubbs.com
From The Sports Page in The Standard Examiner
This is from my ”Stubbs on Sports” column printed in today’s Sports section of the Standard-Examiner . Thought I’d share it with all of you. Enjoy.
I Love Sports.
Happy Valentine’s Day to Sports. Sports is what I love. Sports is my naughty pleasure. I am in love with sports and all the good it can bring. Sports can bring good health, satisfy a competitive urge, teach teamwork, build self esteem and teach humility through victory and defeat. Truth be told, I have learned more through defeat, of course, I have lost more than I have won.
Sports can also have an ugly side. It can divide, undo, and destroy but that’s not the purpose of this column.
I love many kinds of sports at many levels. College, professional, recreational, team and individual. I even love participating in some sports, although not at a very high level as some have witnessed.
Sports is my mistress. Please don’t tell my Bishop. So, on this Valentines Day the following is a tribute to who and what I love in and about sports.....and please don’t take that the wrong way. When I say love, I mean love, not love......got it?
I Love...Jerry Sloan the coach of the Utah Jazz. He is intense, a winner, a teacher and he never quits. No matter what. He doesn’t back down from what he believes...right or wrong. Salty language and all. He does get your attention.
I Love...when my team wins.
I Love...when the other team loses.
I Love...when I first break a sweat. Hey, I am doing something...maybe this isn’t a waste of time.
I Love...brand new Nikes. Size 11. They still smell good and the squeak they make on the Gold’s Gym basketball court is music to my ears.
I Love...the mid-range jump shot.
I Love...the hot dogs topped with grilled onions at Chicago White Sox home games.
I Love...the National Anthem when sung properly.
I Love...whomever will actually throw me the ball while playing pick-up basketball. Not as a last resort while they are ‘triple teamed’, but as a show of some confidence that I might actually make a shot or a decent pass. For crying out loud. Pass the dad-gum ball!! Sorry about that, I had to tell someone.
I Love...Super Bowl Sunday. I know they overdo the pre-game and it is over hyped but it truly is the best.
I Love...whatever team my brother is coaching. My brother Charlie has coached college football for years from Oregon State to Memphis, UNLV to Alabama, Tulsa to Louisville.....and wherever he lands I will sport their gear. That will be my new favorite team. Blood is thicker than.....well, you know.
More than anything, I Love...watching my 8-year-old son Jake play soccer, Junior Jazz basketball, coach-pitch baseball and whatever sport he chooses. I love Jake’s coaches. They volunteer what little time they have and come to games with their neckties loosened, Blackberries in their pockets and ready to teach a bunch of little fellas. I love the way Jake looks at me for approval when he gets a rebound, hits the ball, makes a catch, scores a goal. I love it when he puts on his new uniform. I love the way he cheers for his teammates. I love the way he is friends with the guys on the other team. I love what Sports teaches both he and I.
I Love Sports.
Happy Valentines Day!
Here is my list of the Top Ten things NOT to Get Her on Valentine's Day
Some of this comes from life experience, some common sense.....some of it...a strong hunch.
Top Ten Things NOT to get her this Valentine’s Day!
10-A box of ASSORTED chocolates---take the time, go inside the SEE’s Candy Store and pick out what she really wants.
9-The Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket--(however, I hear the Philly Cheese Steak is dee-licious!)
8-The ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’ box-set.- (not classy enough for my lady.)
7- A 2 for 1 coupon to the localChuck-A-Rama---(no coupons on such a special day)
6- Perfume that is sold by the gallon.(probably smells like transmition fluid)
5-Ike Turner’s ‘Greatest Hits’ Collection-(he wasn’t very nice to Tina....)
4-The ‘Hot Guys Of Pocatello’ Calendar--(are there 12?)
3-His and Her Nose-Hair Clippers. (ouch...)
2-The ‘HIP-HOP ABS’ DVD--(not too subtle a hint...)
and.....
the Number One thing NOT to get her this Valentine’s Day.......The Trifecta of Disappointment… (drum roll please...)
Deer Jerky, a ‘Take This Job and Shove It! T-shirt and TUMS!!!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Keith Stubbs
Catching up....
Hey Everybody!
Well, the team I picked won the Super Bowl on Sunday! I am not really a Giants fan but I picked them to win. Dumb luck and a great game.
The big news around here is that Jewel will be in studio for an Eagle exclusive concert Friday morning from 11am til noon. She is so talented and I am looking forward to meeting her and hearing that amazing voice. Some lucky listners will also be present to enjoy the mini-concert and free food!
My wife is headed off to ‘Card-swap’--it is kind of like a scapbooking group and the ladies in the neighborhood get together and get ‘artsy-craftsy!’
In the meantime...I will be at home with the three kids....Please grant me patience!
Thanks for checking in.
The ‘Long-Suffering’ Keith Stubbs
I Have Never Picked a Super Bowl Winner
Here it is.....
I have never picked a Super Bowl winner.
It all started for me growing up in Charleston, South Carolina with no real NFL team nearby to pull for....The closest were the Atlanta Falcons and yes, they were horrible back then too. The Carolina Panthers were still 22 years away from birth. So, my adopted team became the Washington Redskins during the George Allen era. ‘The Future is Now’ was his battle cry. That has a ring to it. Sounds good to me.
Those ‘skins featured a pair of quarterbacks this flabby, curly-haired 13-year-old could relate to—Billy Kilmer and Sonny Jurgensen—slow, plodding, chubby and nothing special...ahhhh...the story of my life.
Finally, it happened. It’s 1973 and my ‘Skins made it to Super Bowl VII in Los Angeles vs. the Miami Dolphins!! Yes, those Dolphins. The undefeated ones. Shula, Griese, Csonka, Kiick, Little and a guy named Mercury. Who cares? Not me. Redemption is nigh! Can it get any better?
The halftime entertainment you ask? None other than the ‘great’ clarinetist Woody Herman--yes my friend , that Woody Herman. Not so fast, PorkChop! (my nickname growing up). The result, a 14-7 Redskin loss. The lowest scoring Super Bowl of all time...ugly....however, it could have been worse. The Redskins only TD that day was a gift interception return on a pass by their Armenian kicker named Garo with two minutes left. The game was 120 seconds from a shutout. That hurt.
By the time my Redskins made it to the Super Bowl again 10 years later it was too late. I had already leaped off the bandwagon before I could taste the ‘sweet nectar’ of victory. 1973 was much too painful.
I wish my Redskins had won that day. So, as a tribute to the ‘Over the Hill Gang’ here are my 2008 Super Bowl wishes......
I wish....the boys from ‘Queer Eye’ would step in and give Coach Bill Belichick a make-over. Perhaps a Tom Landry-type business suit and a classic Bear Bryant hounds tooth hat. Anything but that worn out hoodie. You’re on TV!
I wish....the game will live up to all the hype. It is sad when the commercials are more memorable than the game.
I wish….I had a name like ‘Plaxico.’ That’s just cool.
I wish....Super Bowl Sunday would become Super Bowl Saturday thus eliminating the awkwardness of sneaking out of church early. Yikes!
I wish....I could be Tom Brady for a day.....he’s a champion, talented, young, handsome, rich, has a head full of real hair......need I explain?
I wish....Tom Petty would be the half time entertainment this year...What? He is? Right on! At last, a wish comes true!!
My Super Bowl pick? Giants 27-Patriots 24
Don’t take that to the bank. My record speaks for itself.
Remember, I have never picked a Super Bowl Winner.
Thanks-
Keith Stubbs
Radio Guy, Comedian, Victim of Circumstance, Cowboy Poet........
http://www.keithstubbs.com
Keith Stubbs is a long-suffering amateur athlete who still has dreams.
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