Happy Leap Year Day!!

Thursday, February 28th, 2008 @ 3:49PM

Happy Leap Year Day!!!

Happy Leap Year Day!!! Whatever that means.  Let me get this straight… Leap years are necessary to keep our calendars in alignment with the earth’s revolutions?  Sounds complicated to me.  I had no idea that there was science involved. It is science, isn’t it? Thank you Mr. Google! 

Leap years occur pretty much every four years, the same as the Presidential campaign season.  We pick up an extra day of ‘politicking’ and ‘bickering’ free of charge.  Does it really have to be in February?  Can we use it like a floating holiday or a personal day?  Also, if it is an extra day, why don’t we get the day off?

I look at the Leap Year day a little differently.  I see it as a bonus.  We can use this extra day to right a wrong.  Think of it as a 24-hour Mulligan, a do-over if you will.
No more ‘woulda, shoulda, coulda’. Wipe the slate clean on Mulligan Day!

How many times have you heard people say ”I have no regrets, I wouldn’t change a thing...” Really?  You wouldn’t change a thing?  No regrets?  None?  Sounds cliche to me.  I am calling hogwash on that.  Mulligan Day can set you free.

We all have regrets.  Man, my life’s highway is littered with regrets.  I don’t wallow in them, but I do recognize and try to avoid the same traps that I’ve fallen victim to in years’ past.  Some are small and others require an emergency visit with the Bishop.

Here are a few of my regrets.

Why did I quit my cushy job at Radio Shack in Provo?  It was right next door to a KFC that made the best mashed potatoes in the state.
Why, oh why, did I let my mom get her hands on my enormous baseball card collection and give them to a neighbor kid while I was in Ecuador?  This kid makes off with my Steve Carlton and Hank Aaron rookie cards and I am left with two Larry Sherrys, a Miguel Dilone lighter (remember him?), and a Memphis Tams team pennant.  Ughhh......
How about the time I bought the wrong running shorts for a mid-summer 5k?  The kind without the lining, ’nuff said.
Why didn’t I hang on to that Microsoft stock?  Sure it was only 60 shares but still.
Why didn’t I go ahead and splurge on a sweet $300 mail-order hairpiece like the one Chuck Norris wears?  His looks so real.
Why did I vote for Bo Bice instead of Carrie Underwood on American Idol?  That dude can rock.
Are there more?  Of course there are.  However, I will spare my posterity the shame.

I am not alone.  I know others have their regrets.  I know others wish they could go back and make an adjustment or two.
Do you think Chris Webber regrets calling that time-out when there were none left against Carolina in the NCAA Championship game in ‘93?
Do you think Senator Larry Craig regrets going ‘tappy-toe’ in the restroom in Minneapolis?
Do you think Michigan regrets scheduling Appalachian State?
Do you think Roger Clemens wishes he had kept his mouth shut?  His wife is juicing yet he’s not?  Right.
Do you think Ron Artest regrets anything?  Bad example, I am sure he doesn’t get it.
Do you think Bobby Knight regrets bullying players, media, and who knows who else?
And finally, do you think BYU’s Dean of Standards regrets calling me on the carpet for my ‘Hasselhoff Afro’ in ‘78?  Probably not.

As the great lyricist Paul Anka wrote for Frank Sinatra “Regrets?  I’ve had a few...”

Happy Leap Year Day!  Errr...Mulligan Day!

Keith Stubbs
Radio Guy, Comedian, Victim of Circumstance, Cowboy Poet........
http://www.keithstubbs.com