What’s in a name?

Sunday, October 12th, 2008 @ 5:43PM

Our next little 'nameless' addition to this world is due Decemebr 24th,2008.....

I wrote this last Friday and it will run in ‘Wasatch Woman’ magazine soon…enjoy!

What’s in a name? What is the big deal?  “We’re pregnant!” So they say.  Let’s get one thing straight from the start.  My awesome wife Noelle is pregnant.  I, on the other hand, am guilty as charged.
We already have a house full of kids, in my opinion.  There is Jake (9), Aimee (4), and Drew (2). You would be hard pressed to find three more beautiful kids.  I am not bragging, I just know what I see.  I have seen ugly. We all have.  Just go down to your local big box warehouse store on ‘free sample’ day and look around.  There they are clamoring for another deep fried chicken nugget dipped in a very secret sauce acting like they haven’t eaten since Steve left Blues Clues. 
I digress….
We do know that we are having a boy and he is due in December and the quandary is what to name him?  In an ideal world the experts say that the decision of what to name a child should be made together.  A joint effort.  I am not so good at that kind of team work.  I don’t want the pressure of coming up with names.  I want veto power.  Noelle is Congress and I am the Executive branch.  Noelle has ideas for names almost daily and I casually discard them the way Dikembe Mutombo (NBA player who is tall) swats away a Mugsy Bogues lay up.  Here’s an example.  She suggested the name Devin.  I realize Devin is a solid name.  I know a couple of nice fellas named Devin.  However, I remember a Devin in elementary school who had stinky feet.  Therefore, I am unable to separate the name from the odor.
Another problem with names and having a large extended family is that the good names have already been taken.  For a boy I like Charles. Taken. Troy. Gone. Ryan. Ditto. Luke. That one too.  Are there any good ones left?
I also have an odd last name. Stubbs. What goes with Stubbs?  Not much really. It does not exactly roll off the tongue.  I have heard all the jokes. “Hey, Ticket Stubbs!” “Stubbie!”  Ugh….my poor boy!
My wife likes the name Harry.  Actually, I like it too. David Letterman named his son Harry.  There is Prince Harry.  But, Harry Stubbs?  No thanks.
Often you can tell the age of a person by their name.  Perhaps a famous person influenced a generation.  I wonder how many kids there will be named Barack?  Or Kanye?  Shaquille?  How about Mitt?  Or heaven forbid, Sanjaya?  I am not judging but there are a lot of Spencers and Gordons around here. 
I want my children to have names that they like.  I wonder how Mr. and Mrs. Sumner felt when their son came home from school one day and announced that henceforth his name would be Sting.  Sure, that’s a great name if you are an artist but not if you are my attorney.
I don’t want to go the route of naming my son after cities around Utah.  Sure, some work like Logan, Brighton, Brigham, Layton, etc.  I can even live with Vernal.  But, who would name their child Tremonton? (actually a friend of mine did).  What’s next, Panguitch? Can the twins ‘Tooele’ and ‘Dugway’ be far behind?
Perhaps I am putting too much pressure on myself with this name thing.  It is a struggle.  Am I over analyzing this?  I just want to get it right.  For my child’s sake and for my sanity.
What’s in a name?  Everything.
Keith Stubbs